I'm back! It's true, I'm not only back from the most amazing week at Youth Camp, but I am back to the computer, unleashing my heartfelt words into the cyber world! Miss me?
Probablly not (:
Well, let me jump right in by saying Thankyou. Thankyou to my two beautiful friends Alexis Morgan Tucker and Christina Rose Laurence. You have both inspired and challenged and encouraged me without even knowing it. How so? Let me explain....
During camp this week God was really working on my heart in the area of confidence and self image. My whole life I have always struggled with being good enough. Pretty enough. Smart enough. Strong enough. I remember the end of my 4th grade year, I was walking accross the field with a group of friends and I remember looking around at all the girls around me and beginning to really compare myself. My size, my complection, my personality. And ever since then my self image has been not only a hinderance in my life, but motivation to do things that have destroyed not only my body, but who I am.
God has been showing me things in His Word that show that we are truly beautiful in Christ. But I can't even explain how hard it is for me to accept that. Yea, I have heard all my life that what is important is that you are beautiful on the inside. But those words never changed the fact that I couldn't even stand to look in the mirrior. But I am happy to honestly say that this last week at camp was the biggest break through to accepting who I am.
I believe it was a wednesday night when my friend Ali went naked. On her face that is. No makeup! And she was so beautiful. I honestly think she looked better without makeup. My friend Christina rarely wears any makeup. Normally just mascara. And she is goreous. Her face is always glowing. I'm not being creepy by making it such a point that they are both so pretty. The fact that they could both go through thier day and be who they were, and be so beautiful really inspired me. More than I can explain.
A verse that God really burned into my heart at Camp was
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (NKJV)
I am finally realizing what it means to be truly beautiful in Christ. I know that I am a new creation in Christ. And if we are to reflect Christ, who is so beautiful beyond words, doesn't that make us something very beautiful indeed? Shouldn't that give you confidence?
I always thought that the only way I could have true confidence was in the way I looked and the way others saw me. As long as I could say the right things and wear the right things, then I would be confident. Right? Not at all. In all honesty no matter how i tried to change who I was to make myself look confident, I only ended up losing myself in the process. Isaiah 32:17 says
The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. You see, external confidence doesnt last. Real confidence comes from righteousness... God's righteousness... at work in your heart. Real confidence comes from depending on Him and not on yourself. And nothing can take that kind of confidence away, because it's yours forever.....