Tonight I just randomly decided to read some blogs that I have been following. I read some encouraging things about proclaiming Christ, A beautiful love story and Christmas! They all kinda just made me want to write something. Anything! I guess I'm just in one of those random, creative moods. So I think I'm just going to write about the first thing that pops into my head (:
The other day my friend Ali ( hey Al! ) was sharing with me her new found love for Taylor Swift. She had listened to her CD quite a lot in the last couple days and she was telling me all about the songs and which ones she really liked. At first my reaction was " Oh, cool?". I liked Taylor Swift but I didn't think that her new CD would really be thaaaaat amazing. Wellllll, a few days later Evan let me borrow the new CD. And I liked it. A lot.Quite a lot actually. Okay, i really liked it!!
So, today as I'm chilling with my little sis and my mom I get the urge to show them how I figured out how to play my violin along with the song 'Enchanted' by Tay Swift of course. So, I go and grab my little mp3 and hook it up to the sound system in our living room. As soon as the songs starts playing I just had to let them listen to all the lyrics. And then I just haaaaad to show them the next song and the next one and the one after that!! Who knew I would be so thrilled to share my new secret love for this CD?
Anyways, one of the songs I showed them was called 'Never Grow Up'. It's this really cute song about staying little. As we are sitting on our living room floor, i start to soak in the lyrics a little bit more. And I look across from me at my little sister. When I think of how i felt in that very moment, the only word that comes to mind is... wow...
There in front of me, sitting so pretty and so intrigued by the song, was my little sister. A beautiful young girl who has shared her life with me. When I think about it a little deeper, I have spent 12 years of my almost 16 years with her. She has literally spent her entire life with me. From the moment she was born to the very first time i held her little hand until now, she has been with me.
Sadly, I think I have spent most of my life taking for granted the sister God gave me. " She's just my sister. What's the big deal?". When really, she means everything to me. It's a strange feeling knowing that someone is always watching you. Not in a creepy way, but the fact that i will forever and always have a younger human being looking up to me, watching my every move, every decision. That little girl has copied me and done the things I do more than you can blink your eyes in a life time. Well, not really, but quite alot. I sometimes get so frustrated! " Why can't she just wear her own clothes? Why can't she just listen to a different CD? Why does she repeat the same joke that i always say!?" But I think it's actually kinda funny when she does something the way I do it. Its kinda silly when I watch her make herself lunch and she makes her peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the same order and fashion as me.
I can remember back when we were fairly little, and how we would have a horrible daily pattern of playing, fighting, playing, fighting, playing, fighting. It was bad. We would spend ALL day together building little barbie cities an forts and houses and we couldn't go an hour without making each other mad or getting irritated when the other one didn't do what you wanted her to do. I'm surprised we didn't drive my mom to drink! And now, looking at our relationship, I am so happy. We are so happy. I love that girl more than i think she will every understand. Being the big sis, I know I probably don't show it like I should. I know I could probably be alot sweeter and share my stuff a little better. But deep down she means the whole wide world to me! I cherish every time we make each other laugh, every time she knocks on my door just to say 'I love you', and every time we get upset at each other how she is so willing to turn right around and make things all better. She may be a booger once in a while, ( sometimes a lot in a while) but I could never imagine trying to replace her. I couldn't ever imagine my life without my little sister.
The song 'Never Grow Up' truly made me want to wrap my darling little sis in a big cozy blanket and never let her go. Although I'm not much older than her, I have gone through things she has yet to go through. I've realized really hard things that she still doesn't understand. And for some reason, that makes me sad for her. I don't want her to go through the scary, hard, lonely times that I've experienced. I wish I could literally wind back time to when she was 5 years old and keep her that way forever. I love her so much and I'm not sure I want her to grow up just quite yet.
So, I guess, thanks Ali for sharing your love of this really great CD with me. Thanks Evan for allowing it to leave your tight grasp for 24 hours. And thanks, from one Taylor to the next,
for writing a song that made me love my sister a little more today.
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