Sunday, January 23, 2011

Day 6: Honesty.

Greetings (:

Well here I am again at the very end of my day finally blogging, Golly, what a horrible blogger Taylor is. Anyways, I have to say: Today has been such a wonderful day! I Slept in till 12 ( i never do that I might add) and then I had a wonderful breakfast consisting of oatmeal, raisins and peanut butter, and the sun was shining, i got to go to food 4 less, and then I was able to spend some amazingly wonderful quality time with my darling friend Ali! Yes, what a grand day it has been.

So now the day is slowly fading, as well as my awareness, which means I get to spend my last few thoughts here to share with you! I do hope you enjoy these thoughts of mine. So, i guess this is the part where I push the button huh? Okay! I will do that right now!

What are you welcoming into your life?

Honesty. For a very, very long time I have worn a mask. Not literally of course, but I tend to hide the real side of Taylor. Not that I'm a crazed, phsyco maniac who eats small dogs for dinner. But the side of me that's real, the side that actually deals with things. Ive always been one to plaster a smile on my face before I walk out the door, no matter how hard things may be. I have never wanted anyone feeling sorry or sympathetic towards me. Ive always had the mentality of "I can fix this on my own, I don't want you to feel like you have to help me". But what I have recently been welcoming into my life is honesty. Yes, it was quite the struggle during my first attempt at opening up to someone. But, here today i can honestly say that it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Really letting someone see who you are brings an amazing sense of freedom. When you actually vocalize the things you've built inside yourself, you learn so much about what really makes you, you.
  When I say I have welcomed honesty, its not that I'm some sort of habitual liar. What i mean is I'm finally being honest with myself. I'm finally looking into my life and seeing the things I need guidance and accountability in and above everything else I'm allowing God to truly come into my life and work inside of me. Yea, I know we all deal with things in each of our lives. But I'm finally realizing that it is truly impossible to do things on your own. I cant fix my life. Only God can. And He does that through other people when you allow others to take a look inside your life and help you. I'm not saying you need to go sit down in a sofa and pour your problems out to a psychiatrist. But really, finding someone you trust will be a Godly leader in your life, someone who will keep you accountable and pray for you, is really an amazing thing. Just saying " hey, I'm struggling in this area, can you help or pray for me?"...... is really wonderful, and really healing. And take it from someone who has spent her life just wanting to keep things locked inside her carefully constructed walls.
      So, my not so simple answer to you my dear idea generator is: I'm welcoming honesty into my life that causes me to allow others, as well as myself, to look inside of who I really am.

Well, now that I've kinda blabbed, here is my challenge to you my dear reader:
Be honest with yourself. Look at the things that are hard for you right now and then let someone in. Ask God to help you and to bring someone into your life who can be there for you and pray with you and for you. What is something that, when it gets brought up or you're reminded of it, you tend to push down inside of you and avoid looking at? How about we all get out that old rusty shovel we tried to throw away, and start digging up some things we buried. How about we take those things and set them out in the open. You cant bury your problems. You will always find that, even though they've been hidden under the surface, they are still rotting away in the dirt, and eventually the stench is going to be noticed..... so let's get honest.


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